Why do I even give a shit? I need to just move on. How long does it take to "get over" someone? And what does that even mean really? How do you "get over" someone? Especially someone you took vows to love and be with for the rest of your life. What do vows mean anyway? Nothing. They are just a statement of what you WANT to be true for the rest of your life. They have nothing to do with reality.
It makes me SICK how you can move on so quickly.......like the love we had and the life we shared together meant NOTHING. Is it really that easy to start dating again? I know you said you're "not dating anyone" yet you ARE going on a date.....I know it's a double-date, but it's a date nonetheless. It's just syntax. And you could have said no.
I guess you think I will be easily replaced. Or that you can find someone better. Good luck with that. Not that I'm perfect, and I'm the first to admit that.........that's one of the main differences between us. You would NEVER admit that you're not perfect....that you made mistakes, or that you had ANY blame in the ending of our marriage.
The reality is, YOU are the one that chose to walk out on our marriage. I may have left the house, moved out......but at the same time, begged you to work on our marriage! I wanted to try and make it work and best case scenario, get back together. YOU are the one who said no.....that you didn't WANT to change, that you didn't feel you needed to change anything.....that you were the same as you'd always been. WHATEVER.........that's really the way to make a relationship work, eh? Take no responsibility for anything, be unyielding, unwilling to make even the smallest change in order to make the person you supposedly LOVE feel happy and loved. That's all I ever really wanted you know......to feel truly loved
and desired, and important to you.
So again I ask.....why should I even give a shit? What's to miss? Feeling unwanted and undesired? Never being touched, cuddled, flirted with? Feeling like the person I'm in love with only sees me as a companion.....instead of the love of your life.....or at least someone you're in love with? Or even feel desire for? If you only felt companionship toward me, that would explain how you could so quickly go on a date.....test the waters.....try someone new. I guess like they say, the grass always seems greener. But I doubt it will be for you. I don't think you're capable of loving anyone fully. You're too busy loving yourself. And that's really sad......it will be a lonely life for you babe. Having friends to hang with is one thing.....having a partner to love and care for you and share the rest of your life with is quite another.
I'm done with this. I can't be your friend anymore. I know I've been acting friendly with you, and I thought I could handle that, but I can't. I'm still in love with you, although I don't know why and I don't want to move back in with you. I'm NOT your buddy. You chose not to be with me and now you need to live with the consequences of your choice. I need to move on and I can't do that and be your buddy at the same time. You chose to have a life without me and that's what you will have now. Congratulations. Good-bye. I'm moving on.
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