Often upon waking in the morning, for a brief moment I have the sensation of complete peacefulness, like when you're under water and you can't ear anything but the sound of your own heartbeat. Then suddenly I come gasping to the surface of real life... and it's time to get up, get ready for work, and carry on with my life no matter what's going on. No matter that I don't feel like doing anything....that I would prefer to sink back down under the water to that peaceful place. To not think, to not feel, to just be.
As I lay in my bed now, feeling sleepy, I'm hoping for a night in which I do not wake up countless times, look at the clock and wish it would turn back so I could just sleep and sleep and stay in that peaceful place. I'm going to turn off my computer now and hope for the best. Soon enough I will be gasping to the surface.
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